a 'hate-hate' relationship with running

If you don't already know, (then that's a miracle as I moan about it often enough across ALL social media), I have a 'hate-hate' relationship with running, but there is some crazy determination within me that means I won't completely give it up.
Over the years I've given running a go, and when I say I've given it a go, I head out for one run, manage about ten minutes, of which nine of those are walking, and I've headed home vowing never to do that again.  Until the next year, when I repeat the above.
In January, I set myself a New Year's aim to take part in Total Warrior, and with that came a target to be able to run 10k by July.  And somehow I did it, in April, 3 months ahead of schedule.
I committed to running at least once a week, every week, and I stuck to it, gradually increasing my distance.  Now I wasn't fast, but that wasn't my aim, I just kept plodding on, and somehow I did it.  I still didn't enjoy it, but I'd developed a more neutral, shall we say, feeling towards it.
6 months on, and it's all gone to pot.  I had a couple of months of not doing any running post Total Warrior, as I had zero motivation, but didn't want to lose what I'd built up. So I set myself a new goal.  To run every week a minimum of 5k, not a long distance, and no pressure on time or speed, just to make myself keep it up.
Well, that hasn't been going quite to plan.  It's been more like 5k every fortnight, and on Sunday? Maybe we shouldn't talk about Sunday.  I ran 1k, yep a whole 5 minutes before giving up.  Ok, I'm even exaggerating with that, it was a little longer than 5 minutes.  I got a stitch, I sat down on a bench for 10 minutes, then I walked home.

I was reading Char's post yesterday 'Thoughts I have when I'm running' and it really made me smile, I've been there, I've felt all those things, and it's good to know I'm not the only one, so I thought I'd compile my own list:
1. You can do this2. You definitely can't do this3.  You haven't even ran 1k yet4. Ok, you've ran 1k, but that's not enough to now stop5.  I wonder how many calories I've burnt6.  I wonder if it's enough to eat a burger when I get home7.  Hrmm, maybe I should just go home now8. How far is home? Can I even make it home?9.  I can't breathe10.  I think I'm dying11. I'm really hating every second of this12.  Like, every single second13.  Try to think about something else, like appreciating this lovely view...14.  I'm so tired15.  2k? I've only done 2k? 16.  Ok, so 2k is like a third of what I want to do, so two thirds to go17.  Maybe I'll just run 3k today18.  Hrmm, if I go that way there's a big hill, maybe I'll just do a second loop instead19.  I hate hills20.  Hills are the worst21.  3k, I'll head home now22.  Just. keep. going.23.  I've stopped, why have I stopped?24.  It's definitely time to go home, my legs won't work anymore
And then, I give up and walk home.  This is basically how every run goes, it's like having a devil and an angel on each shoulder, and I know, if I could just stop thinking like that, and try to just focus on running then I'd probably do better, but the reality is, I don't think I'm ever going to enjoy running.

But, I am determined to stick with it, and me and the mr have agreed, the next time I run 10k, we're going to treat ourselves to a dirty Maccy D's for lunch.  Yes I know, it's ridiculous but occasionally in life you just gotta visit those golden arches.
So if there's any runners out there who can offer me some suggestions, do let me know, because I'm not giving up...
(I said that last time!)